剑桥Test2 Task2 A类5分大作文范文

1.作文题目

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.Others,however,believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

2.学生原文

In today’s society, many people hold the view that it is duty for parents that they should teach children about the ways to fit in society. In others’view, schools should take the response to teach youngsters. As far as I am concerned, both parents and schools should educate pupils to be good members of society.

It is obvious that youngsters accompany by their parents takes up the majority of time during the period of education stage. So comparing with other less time-consuming activities, the influence of this event to children should be more essential. People can realize this fact by the example of classmates of theirchildren. They all in the same class but the appearance towards society is slightly different from one to others. The cause to this is appearantly by their parents. As to my experience, some classmates in my class tend to be more outgoing and sociable than others when participate in some out-door activities, such as attending festival show or giving a public speech. In most cases, it appears that the more educated parents often influence their children more effectively and teach them a widen acknowledge towards society. It seems to me that in this way, could some of my classmates do better when enter society.

Some other people, however, hold the view that schools should give the method to children about how to be a good member of society. In their points, schools are educating people so it is also their duty to teach people about the ways to be good member to society. To my point, the education by schools is a necessary way all of the people when they were young. It is somehow a basement for our career in society and it is essential by all means.

To conclude, parents and schools should all take the response to educate people about ways to be excellent in society

3.老师批改 

In today’s society, many people hold the view that it is duty for parents that they should teach

文中标识：

用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加

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children about the ways to fit in society （虽然加了that，但是这并不属于任何一种从句，建议看语法书了解各种从句的句型。改为：it is parents’ duty to teach children how to fit into society）. In others’view,however, schools should take the response (责任？用词错误。改为：take this responsibility) to teach youngsters. As far as I am concerned, both parents and schools should educate pupils to be good members of society.

It is obvious that youngsters accompany accompaniedby their parents takes up the majority of time during the period of education stage. (youngsters take up time?表意不清；猜测作者是要表达父母和孩子在一起的时间最久，故整句话改为：…that the majority of children’s time is spent together with their parents)So comparing with other less time-consuming activities, the influence of this event to children should be more essential. (改为：This indicates that parents can play an essential role in children’s development.) People can realize this fact by the example of classmates of theirchildren(their children’s classmates). They are (缺少谓语) all in the same class but the appearance towards society（看不懂，什么意思？如果是对待社会的看法，应该是attitudes towards…） is slightly different from one to others（another）. Thecause to this is appearantly by their parents （major cause is associated with the influence of parents）. As to my experience, some classmates in my class tend to be more outgoing and sociable than others when participate (因为没有主语they，所以用非谓语 改为participating) in some out-door activities, such as attending festival show or giving a public speech. In most cases, it appears that the more educated parents often influence their children more effectively and teach them a widen acknowledge towards society（those well-educated parents are more likely to exert a positive and effective impact on their children by imparting knowledge and broadening their horizons）. It seems to me that in this way, could some of my classmates do better when enter society（这句完全没有结构了，改为： young people are able to make a difference after entering into the society）.

Some other people, however, hold the view that schools should give the method toteach children about how to be a good member of society. In their points, schools are educating people so it is also their duty to teach people about the ways to be good member to society. To my point, the education by schools is a necessary way for all of the people when they were young（为什么？需要讲原因；比如加 because children are also easy to be influenced by theirrespectful teachers and peers in school）. It is somehow a basement for our career in society and it is essential by all means.

To conclude, parents and schools should all （both sides should）take the response to educate （be responsible for educating）people about ways to be excellentbehave appropriately in society. Band 5

TR 4.5 结构清晰，但是不应该偏重其中任何一边，因为这是discuss both的题目，更何况作者的观点也是两边都认可的；作者自己观点那一段应该论证更加充分，因为要give your opinion CC 5 有一些地方存在逻辑跳步，想当然 LR 5 用词错误和不合适较多

GRA 5 语法错误较多，具体看蓝色部分，请注意句子结构的正确性

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5.作文范文：

It is a widely held belief that parent should teach the children how to be good members of the society but there is a strong counter-argument amongst sections of people that school is the right place to teach children. However, I am of the opinion that this is a matter to be debated in the light of several factors before any conclusion can be drawn.

It is generally believed that parents should guide the children how to deal with the society. This is mainly because children will obey the words of parents rather than the teachers. In many books, we can see that parents are the first teachers. Parents should teach basic qualities like respect, obedience, honesty. Parents should teach those qualities at an early age so that their children can imbibe these qualities into them. For instance, my uncle’s daughter is just studying 5th class, but she respects the elderly people. Since their parents taught her the qualities which she must inculcate in her.

The education starts at home and the things learned from early childhood become part of someone's personality and characteristics. Hence, the things kids learn from their parents have a lasting impression on people. So parents should be careful about teaching their kids the moral values and responsibilities to the society. Children by nature mimic their family members and thus parents can teach their kids how to be good members of the society by performing their duties correctly. Most children obey their parents more than anyone else and the instructions the parents give thus have better chances to be obeyed by children. Not all parents can spend sufficient time with children because of their ever increasing business outside of homes and for those students teachers play an important role. Some students listen to the teachers they like and follow their instructions like written laws. Thus teachers can contribute towards teaching the morality and responsibilities to the children.

On the other hand, there are certain groups of people who vehemently contend that school is the right place to learn how to be good members of the society. One of the reasons why this view is held is that nowadays children are not having sufficient time to spend with their parents because both of the parents might be employed or they may keep their child in a hostel. In school children will learn the education. The school must also include these qualities as a part of course structure so that the child may follow them.

Thus, it is evident from all discussion that, both the arguments carry equal strength and significance and neither can be refuted outright. I personally subscribe to the proposition that, school is the right place to learn how to be good members of the society.